Valentine's Day Interview with Bubba & Honey O

Almost five years ago, I married my best friend.  It was a wonderful day and every day that I spend with him gets better and better. For Valentine's Day,  we thought we'd reflect on our marriage by answering a few questions. 

Check it out!

How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?

Bubba: 

It’s hard to articulate because for me I work on such a gut instinct level.  But I knew in my heart that you were the right one.  Everything just fell right into place with us, and especially how we would blend a family.

Honey: 

After experiencing a relationship from hell a year before I met you, I just knew.  I've always felt that God allowed me to experience heartache, shame, and disappointment so deeply before you that it would be so evident that you were THE ONE.

What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together?  

Bubba:

The long talks we had as we were dating.  The distance between us made us focus on aspects outside of the physical.  And as I got to know you, it was the fact that you strengthened me in my weak areas and vice versa.  I found we are a perfect balance, and as Libra’s we definitely love to balance the scales.

Honey:

I could be myself with you.  I didn't have to put on airs...I didn't even want to put on airs.  I was just me.  And you loved and respected ME for ME.....the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Were you scared at all?

Bubba:

Heck yeah I was scared.  More about if I would screw it up because of my first failure at marriage.

Honey:

No, not at all.

Is there anything you would do differently after 5 years of marriage?

Bubba:

I would work on my communications skills more out of the box.  I think there were some unnecessary misunderstandings that didn’t need to happen if I just opened up more.  I would also teach you how to make mochas from day one!

Honey:

Why, yes.  I remember I used to give you the silence treatment when I was mad at you.  I don't do it now but I wish I never did.  We lost time together because I needed to prove a point or punish you.  I was miserable when I gave you the silent treatment...  You're the one person I want to tell everything (which is sort of impossible if I'm not talking to you....huh.)  Oh well...you live and learn.
 

What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right/Ms. Right is really out there?

Bubba:

My advice is patience…there is no way around it; you have to have it.  Anecdotally, I would say you have to be perfectly willing to live the rest of your life by yourself and then you will find the right person.  It seems to me that most of the people I talk to who have found “the one”, did it after they essentially gave up looking and figured they would be alone.  Something about being able to totally accept yourself and independence opens you up to not looking for someone to COMPLETE you but someone to complement and enhance the experiences of your life.  That’s the best quantitative advice I could give.  Everything else is subjective.  But ultimately you just KNOW.  It’s not something you even have to think about…when that person comes, and beyond the initial euphoria of the brand new romance…you know in your gut you don’t ever want another experience in life to happen without your significant other being able to share in it.

Honey:

Live your life!  Don't sit at home waiting for Mr. Right...he won't just show up at your doorstep.  Get out...travel...enjoy life.  Try some non-traditional dating options and don't worry about what others think...cause they are probably considering them, too.

What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?

Bubba:

Best advice is the one I am still struggling with…open communication.  Being able to succinctly articulate what I am feeling to give you understanding.  The other advice, your spouse should be your best friend.

Honey:

Keep God in the center of our marriage and everyone else on the outside. 

What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?

Bubba:

Best friend, great communicator, open to compromise.  Marriage is a partnership, it’s not always 50/50.  You have to be all of those to be able to work through things together.

 

Honey:

Good hair, white teeth, nice smile........just kidding.  God-fearing..must have integrity, willingness to communicate and can provide for the family and have an overall  "Ride or Die" Mentality. Check, Check, Check, Check, and Check!

What is your fondest memory of your 5-year marriage?

Bubba:

There are actually a few….when we were dating I loved getting the care packages, it’s something that still makes me smile.  But since our marriage there are two.  The day we got married, even through all the headaches was wonderful, and the second would be our trip to Hawaii.  Best vacation ever!

Honey:

That day we were headed out to explore the city and I accidentally "pooted"...we laughed soooo hard.  I've been pooting ever since.....TMI for internet, I know, but it's the little things that make me smile. 

All of our family vacays with the kids.

Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?

Bubba:

Yes it does, but for me I have to constantly work at it.  As far as keeping my patience, I don’t know, it’s inherent in who I am, so I just do.

Honey: 

Communicating is never hard for me.  Patience is.  You continue to work on the communicating and I'll continue working on the patience.

At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?

Bubba:
At the end of a bad day, the most important thing to remind yourselves is that you STILL LOVE each other.  The next morning isn’t promised, so no matter what has gone on that day, never let a chance to say “I love you” go by before you go to sleep.
 

 

Honey:

That I have everything I need...Christ, my health, and my family.

Is fighting important?

Bubba:

It’s not the fighting that is important, it is how you HANDLE it.  It’s those intense arguments when discussed out of love and not anger that create the biggest understandings and compromise in relationships.  I would say constructive disagreements are important, being able to have those crucial conversations and look at the disagreements as opportunities to make your marriage stronger and your understanding of your spouse better.

Honey:

Abso-friggin'-lutely!  It's a must.  That's how we get down to the nitty gritty of a matter.

What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
Bubba:

The one thing is that we love each other and are fully committed to “Till death do you part”…Sometimes I am concerned you want to hasten that date….but it is the one thing…LOL
 

Honey:

Yes, what you said. 



Bubba & Honey